Submitted for the I Heart Faces weekly photo challenge.

What kind of Christmas card would cause those kind of tears? The kind that included 7 memories… 7 photos of a friend I haven’t seen in 3 years… 7 photos of that friend and her husband, who she lost in Afghanistan on August 6th of this year. She included a lovely note honoring his memory and saying thank you for the outpouring of support she has received, which of course only intensified the tears.

Were there professional photos on that card? No. Did there need to be? Of course not. Those 7 snapshots were more powerful than any professional photo I have ever seen, because there was meaning behind them. A professional photographer isn’t always around when you’re in the midst of a meaningful moment or memory. So it’s up to you to be the record keeper for yourself and for your family and friends.

You don’t have to lose 10 pounds first, you don’t have to have makeup on, heck you don’t even have to had showered first. Who cares what anyone looks like in a fleeting moment that you want to remember. 20 years down the road you’re probably just going to be making fun of your ridiculous clothing choices anyway, so the rest is irrelevant.

I take photos of other people for a living, but often times forget to take plenty photos of my own family and life. When I was trying to pick our photos for our Christmas card, I had so few of me, my husband, and my son all together.  And practically none of just me and my husband! I mean, we’ve had this brilliant relationship for the last 13 years, yet almost no pictures of just the two of us in 2011? So sad! So I’m going to change that this year. I’m making it a point to at least take one photo a day (doesn’t matter with which camera!). I’ll keep a running record on my Flickr page if you’re interested.

While today’s latest smart phones have pretty great cameras, I suggest still at least keeping around a good point-and-shoot to help record your life. And do something with the photos you take… print them for a change instead of just keeping them on your phone or computer. Maybe put them in an album. And do yourself a favor and print them BIGGER than a 4×6 to frame. Photos look more and more beautiful the larger you print them… Get out of your comfort zone and try at least an 8×10 next time! And don’t let your intimidation of fancy cameras (or maybe just laziness? Hey, we have ALL been guilty of that!) keep you from preserving the moments that mean the most to you in life. Life passes by so quickly and you never know what tomorrow holds, so do what you can to remember what puts a sparkle in your eye, and enjoy every last drop of love and fun and happiness that you can.

As for that friend I mentioned in the beginning of this post… what would she be left with without those photos to look back on and remember her husband? Her own memories, yes, but as time passes memories fade… so take photos, print them, and hold them close forever. She took the time to capture those precious moments, and now not only does she have those photos to look back on, but she was able to share them with others who may have not been there in that moment… and now I have that Christmas card attached to my refrigerator, among other memories, where I can honor them daily.

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.” -Kung Fu Panda

What’s your most recent favorite snapshot? Here’s mine.

Jose and Max. First morning snuggle of 2012.

When the Stern family came to me for a lifestyle session and explained how they were as far from formal, stuffy photos as one can be, and South Congress would be the ideal fit for them and their personalities, I was over the moon! I love nothing more than a family that lets their guard down and thus silliness ensues.  It took me all but two seconds to fall in love with their adorable girls (and made me hope for a girl of my own in the future!! I mean who could resist buying clothes like what you see below for their own little girl(s)!?). It was a fun and relaxed morning, a session unlike any other I’ve done, and I can’t wait to try to top it the next time I take their photos! And, what better way to wrap up the session than with candy and sweets and ice cream and cupcakes!? Just have a look for yourself… P.S. I’m glad I was just the photographer and didn’t have to deal with the wrath of that sugar high later in the day…

Last minute baby shopping. Oct. 30th, 2009.

When we got home that evening, I went ahead and continued to pack a hospital bag that I started a few days prior while I watched the movie Baby Mama (even funnier when you’re pregnant), and decided to take a bath to relax and ease the anxiousness I was beginning to feel.  The funny part about all of this is that for months I have been telling everyone that I thought our baby boy was going to arrive early, even though everyone will tell you not to get your hopes up for an early delivery (especially with your first baby).  But something inside of me just knew… And a few times I even said, “Watch, I bet he’ll be a Halloween baby!”

Warning: if you’re squeamish and not into labor details, skip the next few sentences. As most of you know, one of the signs of labor is something called “bloody show.”  As my bath water was running around 9:30pm, I was about to get in when I noticed some bloody show.  So I quickly proceeded to Jose’s office and said with a smirk, “So, how much bloody show is too much, where we should head to the hospital?”  I showed him and he said, “I’m going to go put the car seat in the car!!” Yes, of course we didn’t even have the car seat installed yet.   I was having some very mild contractions at that point, but nothing uncomfortable.  I decided to proceed with my bath to relax a bit before we headed to the hospital, but I became so excited that I didn’t last more than a few minutes in the tub before I decided to get that last shower in before my hospital stay.  So I took a quick shower and began to pack everything I could think that we would need for the hospital!  I grabbed a baby book to look at their checklist only to be humored by items like a “camera and film, tape player.”  We quickly packed and headed to Round Rock Medical Center (in retrospect, as you’ll see in the next couple of paragraphs, I probably would have rather stayed at home longer and labored somewhere familiar and comfortable since I had a bit of a ways to go!). Did I mention that my aunt is a hospital supervisor at Round Rock Medical Center, so we had a sweet room in our future for our hospital stay.

We checked in around 11:30pm on Friday night, October 30th, and at that point I was about 3cm dilated.  They kept me in triage for about an hour to observe me again to see if I was making any progress.  An hour later I was closer to 4cm dilated and nearly 100% effaced!  So they called the doctor and he said to keep me there, so I was officially checked in to my labor and delivery room.  The next several hours were pretty sleepless because of our anxiousness and a pretty uncomfortable hospital bed. By the morning, I was 5cm, progressing nicely, and hardly having any contraction pain.  At this point my bag of waters still hadn’t broken, so in a couple of hours the nurses encouraged me to take a stroll around the hospital.

Strolling around the hospital on the morning of October 31st, 2009.

So we walked and walked and walked, and anytime a mild contraction came on, I used some great breathing techniques and yoga positions that helped ease the pain. My ‘prenatal for partners yoga class’ that Jose and I did together (one week before) came in very handy throughout the day, as did everything I learned in prenatal yoga! But even still at that point, the contractions hardly felt like anything at all. Every now and then, we’d come back to the room to get checked again and find out if we were making any progress, and each time I was a tiny bit more dilated. Since it was kind of slow, they insisted on breaking my bag of waters (going against my gut a little bit). However, my mom was on a plane ride over, so I wanted them to wait until she was there, partially because I wanted her to see me in a nice, happy, pain-free state, and because I didn’t know how quickly things would progress once my bag of waters was broken. So, when she arrived, they went ahead and broke my bag of waters (maybe around 1pm?), and that’s when the contractions really picked up! Ouuccchhhh.

Over the next couple of hours, I progressed at a decent pace to about 8cm, still without an epidural. Then, I went about 2-3 more hours without an epidural with really strong (and painful!) contractions, only to find out, I was STILL ONLY 8cm dilated!  At that point they suggested pitocin, and it was at that point that I also said they better get the anesthesiologist in there and they had better do it quickly! The pain from those contractions was the worst pain I had ever felt in my life, and since it was late afternoon and I was still laboring hard, I got so worn out that I knew the only way I had a fighting chance to deliver our baby was if I had the help of an epidural. So the wonderful anesthesiologist came in and it felt like he was sent from heaven (seriously my new best friend at that point).  I could finally breath and relax a little more again. Once the pitocin was going, I finally reached 10cm and it was FINALLY time to push!

Earlier in the day, our baby was “sunny side up” (not ideal for birth). Throughout the day, he rotated a little bit so he was at an angle, and by the time it came for me to push, he was sideways, or in the “transverse” position.  I pushed… and pushed… and pushed… and pushed… contraction after contraction (even sleeping between some of the contractions because I was sooo tired).  And nothing… for 2 HOURS, during which time the epidural definitely wore off (of course)….  Finally, probably around 7:30pm, the doctor finally suggested a c-section, for fear that the baby was just not going to come out on his own. So I turned to my mom, a former labor and delivery nurse, and asked her what I should do, and she said it’s up to me but a c-section sounds like the best option at this point. Since I could barely even stay awake anymore, the epidural had worn off, and no progress was being made by pushing, I agreed to the c-section.

The next couple of hours were a blur, as I fell in and out of sleep the entire time. I remember being carted into the operating room, being prepped for the c-section, then Jose joining me in there with his scrubs and face mask on, then some tugging here and pulling there, the anesthesiologist encouraging queasy Jose to take a peek as our son emerged at 8:29pm on October 31st, and then finally hearing that cry from Maximilian, our son, that I longed to hear for so many months. It was the most wonderful sound in the world and instantly brought tears to my eyes. The first thing Jose said is, “He looks like a little Spanish baby!” LOL. Well I guess that’s to be expected because of his Hispanic heritage, right?

First family photo

Come to find out later, Maximilian had a few initial issues with the umbilical cord being wrapped around his neck a couple of times, and some breathing problems that were quickly remedied in the NICU. The doctor who delivered him also said that he was really wedged in there and didn’t have a chance at coming out on his own, so it’s good that we did the c-section.

A couple of hours later once I was in the recovery room, I finally got to hold and nurse my sweet baby boy, the greatest feeling in the world.  It was the longest, hardest, most painful day of my life, but the most rewarding and joyous one as well.  I had no idea that I could feel so many different emotions in a single day.  In the end, everything was worth it, and we’re ready to be blessed with more children when it’s our time.

Maximilian in his first few minutes

Max and daddy

I won’t go into alllll of the multitude of details of everything that has kept me away from blogging over the last 2 weeks, but here’s a quick recap of a couple of things. For one, my application was accepted to be a volunteer photographer for The F.I.L.M. Project.  Check it out!  It’s a very neat organization!  Through this organization, I will be donating family portrait photo sessions to cancer patients. We believe that in sharing our gifts we can inspire healing, faith, and hope to these families during their most fragile times. If you or someone you know qualifies and would like a family portrait session in the Austin area, please contact me for more info!  I’m looking forward to getting booked for my first session.

Second, I actually have made it to a few yoga classes!  I know… it shocked me, too!  Go figure that immediately after getting too distracted to blog, I actually get to a class.  Maybe I should blog less and Vinyasa more…

Third, on a much sadder note, a friend of mine lost her husband in Afghanistan.  It’s been devastating and very consuming.  I’ve had little contact with her since the news broke, but my heart and prayers go out to her and her family.  Please send all of your positive thoughts her way, too!

Fourth, I’ve had to start doing my course prep for the Fall semester!  Yup, I’m back in teaching again… Haven’t been in the classroom since last Fall, but I’m looking forward to it… starts next week!  Yikes!  It’ll be like riding a bike… right?

So those are just a few of the things that have distracted me from blogging over the last few weeks… But what did I learn in the first 29 days of my journey (as well as in the time since I last blogged)?

For one, totally random, I’ve learned that I REALLY want to move somewhere with cooler weather!!!  This 100+ degree heat and humidity in Austin has been sooo miserable, especially given how much Max loves to be outdoors!  We’ve been cooped up in our house for what seems like an eternity, waiting for a break in the weather, which is at least probably another month away. I’m thinking Seattle or it’s nearby mountains might be pretty fabulous… I want to live somewhere with milder summers, a good chance for snow in the winter, mountainous scenery, and of course a yoga studio and a Whole Foods nearby. Who knows when/if a move will ever happen… But I would sure like it to!

Something else I’ve learned is that life rapidly changes, so don’t take it for granted. Also, don’t beat yourself up for not accomplishing something right away that you’ve set out to do, whether it’s to do yoga regularly or become a famous photographer.  Whatever it is, take your time, and always just try to do a little bit each week to help you achieve that goal.

I’ve also learned that life is made up of cycles. Maybe that’s why I didn’t feel like I needed the entire 60 days to
“complete” my journey. I don’t think a “journey” can ever really have a time limit. As for the cycles or phases of life, there are good days and bad days, stressful days and easygoing days, slumps and peaks… I think we just have to all be prepared for the constant ups and downs and changes. Something I’ve learned being a mama is that with your kiddo, everything is just a phase. If they’re sleeping crappy for a couple of weeks because of teething, it’ll pass. Now I’m ready to apply that philosophy to my own life… It’s all just a phase! It’s up to me to allow myself to freely move in and out of these phases… I think that’s the key to survival.  Just go with it… and have fun as often as possible.

A few photos from the last 2 weeks…

Today is one of those “weird” days… Call it what you will… A slump, a plateau, an “off” day. So I feel like this is a good day to look back on days 1-28 of my journey, reflect, and try to meditate a little bit on each point I touched on, while also trying to put what I can into practice. It’s hard when I already have so much on my mind, and it feels like so much is weighing on my shoulders. A little yoga may do a mind (and body) good…

I’m also sending healing thoughts to photographer Jeremy Cowart who has fallen very ill while on assignment in Rwanda. Please join me in prayers for him.

I love the innocence of Max's childhood and how he is so far from holding the weight of the world on his shoulders - 08.03.11

How have you been doing over the last 29 days? Isn’t it amazing just how much can happen in less than a month’s time. Or is that just my life? Haha…

I was in REI a few days ago, and they had a giant mural that said, “Be where you belong.” I love that version of the saying, too!!! If you’re not super happy about some particular aspect of your life, like where you live or what job you have, then take action to be where you want to be. Then maybe it’ll be easier to be where you are.

I missed out on blogging yesterday because I was enjoying quality time with my boys.

Max is the best at leading "Be where you are," always focusing and enjoying on one thing at a time - 08.02.11

So, be where you belong so you can be where you are… Are you?

When I finally retired from grad school a couple of years ago, I knew I could keep teaching since I already had a job at our local community college (and still do… love my public speaking students!), but what I reallllly wanted to do was photography! I knew it would be hard and a lot of work (it still is!), but the payoff would be great.

I’ve been a photographer for about 15 years now (unless you count that very first camera that my dearest Aunt Milka gave me when I was just a small child!), and until now I’ve had just a handful of paying photography jobs. Otherwise, it was mostly just for hobby.

After Max was born, some kind of insane drive and motivation took over me to take my photography business to the next level! Also, with the unstoppable encouragement from Jose, I now have this amazing, growing client base for my portrait photography business, and just the best clients-turned-friends in the world. And thanks to the most incredible life-saving mom’s group that I’m a part of, the infamous Yoga Mamas, not only are several of them also my clients, but some of them are even about to help me embark on a new photographic journey! Living this dream is ineffable.

But wait… There’s more. I’m already a member of the Professional Photographers of America (PPA), but I thought it was time to expand my network and affiliations because so many great things can come from doing so. This weekend, my application was accepted to become a member of the National Association of Professional Child Photographers (NAPCP)! Such awesome news to receive that acceptance letter in my inbox!

What else am I a part of? The fabulous National Association of Photoshop Professionals (NAPP), as well as the Wedding and Portrait Photographers International (WPPI). All such incredible organizations that it’s such an honor to be a part of!

Then, today I received a letter indicating that I am a finalist for Best Infant Photographer in the 2011 Austin Area Mother-Friendly Birth Professionals Awards, which are a project of the Central Texas Doula Association. What an honor!!! Stay tuned for information on how and when to vote!

And if all of that wasn’t enough, I had a spectacular weekend with my boys, complete with the best daddy in the world introducing Max to the creation of art.

Reach for the stars and amazing things will happen.

Daddy & Max: 07.31.11

Max: 07.31.11

What’s on your “reach for the stars” list? Are you reaching?

Spend some time looking at the world from a kid’s perspective. Play in the dirt, crawl on the floor, build a fort out of unusual materials, try new foods… Whatever it is, just explore and have fun and get rid of expectations and preconceived notions of what you’re thinking about diving into.

When was the last time you stuck your tongue into running bath water… just because?

Max at bath time: 07.29.11

Go out and be a kid. What’s the first thing that comes to mind that you want to do?